Chapter 3: Abuse vs Discipline

To me this is a topic I am very passionate about, the difference between abuse and discipline. I feel the difference between the two has to do with excessiveness and control. I think a parent who is abusive hits their children excessively and uncontrollably to the point where they are physically hurting the child. While a parent who is trying to just discipline their child may hit them but not excessively and to the point where they are not causing physical damage. In my community and the way I grew up parents do discipline their children by “spanking” or “whooping” them, I feel this is very common in the African American lifestyle especially in poverty stricken areas. The reason I say that is because I feel parents’ discipline their children either to show them something or what they did is wrong. And in communities like the one I grew up in, Oakland, California, disciplining their children this way is sometimes needed. Now some might say there are others ways to teach a child right from wrong, but I feel the punishment given to the child equals the severity of the possible outcome if the child does wrong.

            For example, in my community stay out after the street lights goes on can get a kid in a   

            lot of trouble with their parents. That’s because during this time the drug dealers come

            out, shootings and robberies occur, and overall there are a lot of unknown dangers out

            there. So in turn if they do stay out past this time a whooping, to me, would suffice. But

            now let’s take a kid from a wealthy area that does this same thing. Staying out after the

            street lights are on won’t put you in the middle of the same type of dangers a kid from

            my community is put in. That’s why I feel this is a topic that should be decided in

            each household not by society. Furthermore the reason I did throw in African American

            previously is because, in society, or at least in the area I grew up in, minorities were the

            ones who disciplined their children this way, while the upper class communities

            (mostly Caucasians) were against hitting their kids. But like I said before “punishment

            given to the child equals the severity of the possible outcome if the child does wrong”.

In conclusion, I feel parents overstep their paternal authority to punish their children when they excessively “beat” them and physically or mentally hurt their children. I have had "whoopings" plenty of times and I know my mom knows the difference between abuse and discipline; not one time have I had a swollen eye or broken bone from her. But I did realize that what I did was wrong and never to do it again.