Uncertainty Theory

The one concept that stood out to me in this week’s reading was the Uncertainty Theory. The book states that this theory occurs in a conflict situation when we have insufficient information to understand another’s motives, goals, or behaviors or when we do not understand how another is responding to us. This concept stood out to me, I can see in many of my conflicts where this is what took place. As I always talk about, this has happened probably in most of my conflicts with my roommates. Sometimes I infer things about others I am in conflict with and handle the situation completely wrong from there. Most of the time when it comes to me and this theory, I have said or done things that were detrimental to the relationship of the person I am in the conflict with. For example, after calling my roommate dirty, we had an awkwardness between us for a few days. I understand now form this theory that sometimes I have to look at a problems as a whole, and not jump to inferences based on unclear issues. 

Chapter 10

When I do an internet search using the terms forgiveness, reconciliation, and revenge many different sites pertaining to religion, and counseling services appear. For example, when I use the term forgiveness I found sites about Christianity view on forgiveness, how forgiveness is healthy, and counseling services to help individuals forgive. When I used the term reconciliation I also I found sites about different religions such as, Islam and Catholicism perspective on reconciliation, the meaning of reconciliation, the movie, and gossip about celebrities reconcile relationships. Moreover, when I used the term revenge I found sites about movies and shows with the word revenge, the definition of revenge, and news about individuals getting revenge. Out of all the terms, forgiveness produced the most results. I think forgiveness had the most results, because it is prevalent throughout our world, heavily practiced in religion, and there many services and people who offer their views on forgiveness and healthy ways to forgive.

Attributions

Making false attributions is something I feel we do all the time amongst ourselves. I can’t seem to remember the last time I did so and it exacerbated a conflict, but I do know there a certain situations where they come up in my daily life. For example, when me and my roommates place wagers on video games. When it comes to this situation no one wants to lose in the game or their money. So there are times when the loser, sometimes being myself, will say things like “you cheated” or “you only one because of….”. None of these has ever escalated into a serious conflict though. Another example is when two of my other roommates and I have a problem with our fourth roommates cleaning habits. Sometimes we give excuses like “he’s too hard headed to talk to” because we feel since he doesn’t clean after we tell him he must be. On the other hand I do believe there are times where attributions can be accurate and helpful at the same time. For example, when you notice someone is short tempered or gets angry quite fast. Sometimes in a situation like this one might feel that this person is very short tempered; therefore saying things like “I can’t work with you because you have no patience”. 

Forgiveness

For this week the idea that stood out to me was forgiveness. For me, forgiveness is very important. Not only to give to others, but also for others to be able to forgive me too. I want to believe that I am a forgiving person but sometimes, especially during a conflict, I understand I may be a little hypocritical and not quick to forgive others. I tend not to let things get to me and if they do I try not to let them linger as a problem for too long. So when it comes to forgiveness, if I catch myself not giving it to others I try my best to let it go and understand people make mistakes. Also as a Christian I believe it is morally correct to forgive others as God forgives you. But there are some instances, like that of my uncle’s which I briefly talked about in my last post, where forgiveness becomes quite hard to give. I do feel one day may be able to forgive him, but as for now I don’t think I’m ready. Other than this instance, as I said before I try to be forgiving; because for me if you forgive others it easier for them to forgive you. 

Learning to Forgive

When it comes to forgiveness I am willing to forgive anyone because life is too hard to hold grudges. But even so, due to a particular even in my life, there is someone I could never forgive and that is my uncle. The reason being is because, to make a long story short, he took my father’s life. For obvious reasons this is why it is so hard for me to forgive him. He not only took away future memories I could have shared with my father, he took him away from my family. And what hurt the most is seeing my mom lose her significant other, and being left with the burden of taking care of me and my two other siblings at a young age. To me out of all the hurt he brought to my family, what hurt the most was seeing my mom hurt that bad. I can’t explain all what took place during this event because it would an essay to do so. But one thing I can tell you is despite what happened, I do believe everything happens for a reason, both good and bad; and even though me and my family are doing well I don’t feel I can ever forgive my “so-called” uncle. 

Social Networks

Social networks are something that I take part in on a regular basis. I do have a Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and sometimes I feel without them I would be left out from the social life most of friends take part in. When it comes to these social networks I try my best to not only portray myself in an appropriate manner, but also I try to portray myself as the real me. Now when I say the real me, I mean any information or post I decide to put on my page doesn’t portray as someone I’m not, or “fake”. Hopefully when others see my profiles on these networks, the impressions they get are good ones; and they can see that my profile and what I post on them parallels to the person I am in reality. But of course there are times where I have screwed up with my post. Most of the time initially I don’t see nothing wrong with my post, it’s not until after I realize what I said or posted showed me in a negative light. This relates to conflict and communication because in most cases when this happens to me it’s a family member that dislike what I posted. So even if what I posted was alright to me, to them they may have a problem with it. I do hear them put though, and sometimes realize what I posted didn’t portray who I am as a person in a good way.